The Art of Zen Living

Equanimity: Evenness of mind; that calm temper or firmness of mind which is not easily elated or depressed; patience; calmness; composure; as, to bear misfortunes with equanimity

That’s the dictionary’s definition of equanimity.  It’s a good definition.  I imagine that for an outside observer, this is what the 4th immesurable looks like.  But how do we get there?  What are the choices and actions that bring us to that point?  If that is what it looks like on the outside, what does it look like on the inside?

I believe that equanimity, from the inside, is a choiceless awareness.  Because it’s when we want to make a choice that we suffer.  It’s when we have a preference that we suffer.  If I go to a restuant and order a steak, I always ask for it medium rare.  Usually they bring it to me medium well, or worse.  I’m always disappointed.  It makes me a little grumpy.  I think about sending it back, but that would usually take too long, and they’d probably bring it back the same way.  So I cut into my steak, shaking my head the whole time, chew-chew-chewing it in a distracted manner, not paying much attention to it really, not really listening to my friends or family that I’m dining with, too focused on that not-medium-rare steak.

My whole evening is ruined.  Not because they didn’t bring my my steak exactly the way I want it - that food is just as capable of sustaining me no matter if it’s cooked rare or well done.  No, my evening is ruined because I had a preference.  I wanted my steak medium rare.

Choiceless awareness.  Perfect acceptance.  Neither being attracted nor repelled.  I think this is what is being talked about in the well know proverb:

“Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water.”